It’s not that I can’t see all of us growing old, as it is clear we all do. No one want’s to go through anything that isn’t required, but death is on that list.

My main companion at work for the past several years has been my dog buddy. At some point he decided that staying at home wasn’t good enough and he would accompany me at work.

I am not the most patient or thoughtful person in the world and figured it would be no big deal. The dog is losing his eyesight, wasn’t so confident anymore and his hips hurt a bit.  I did what was required and didn’t think much more until it became my decision when it would end. I began to like the smell of my dog, but I didn’t expect to have to carry him up the stairs every night when I returned home from work when I agreed to let him stay the night as a homeless Labrador.

You may not be able to relate, but my dog could chase a stick or ball like no other. I would examine the tracks he left under total acceleration and would marvel at the fact that only three claws of each foot would contact the ground at full speed. He could catch and eat almost anything that could or would run and had work ethics that would be a benchmark for anyone including me. Then suddenly a dear friend of Lanie’s passed without warning in the middle of this.

It was someone who she had worked with for many years and deeply admired. She had terminal cancer and decided to skip chemo and fight on her own. Her body quit weeks before what was expected and that was it. We have an appointment for buddy tomorrow where we are going to try to let him go. Can you see how messed up this is?

There isn’t any point or may be I am too tired and sad to find it. There isn’t any point in wondering what to do when things seek their own level without your permission and catch you off guard and unprepared for more; I guess I am there today.  I am just going to to write it off as one of those days.  Let’s just let it go.